What I Liked About Marisa Kanter's What I Like About You | Book Ramble | Mental Health Awareness Month

Welcome to Nox the Reader, I'm "Nox", and I absolutely have to talk about Marisa Kanter's What I Like About You, my newest UNDERHYPED FAVORITE!

"Even though we've never met, they aren't just pixels to me."

I have been so excited to read What I Like About You, and I flew through it! The idea of a book revolving around an anxious book blogger struggling when her online and real lives collide just connected to me in ways you couldn't even imagine. I finally picked it up today because I was in the mood for a fun lighthearted contemporary.

I did NOT get a fun lighthearted contemporary.

WARNING: Death of a grandparent (off-screen, before the story starts), depictions of panic attacks, reckless driving, death of a sibling (off-screen, before the story starts)

REP: Jewish MCs (OwnVoices), Multiracial Love Interest (part Jewish, part Korean), LGBT+ side characters, Anxiety Rep

Available on Scribd

This story was an emotional rollercoaster for me: I laughed and I cried. I cheered and I cringed. It was a very emotional three hours for me. Three hours of me trying not to cry while my Gramps watched TV.

It wouldn't feel right to talk about Halle, Kels, and One True Pastry without using GIFs from one of the best baking shows, the Great British Bake Off!

Two-Sentence Synopsis

Halle Levitt is a popular YA book blogger known by the name of Kels. When she and her brother move in with their grieving Gramps six months after the death of their Grams, Halle runs into her online best friend Nash and has to navigate managing her anxiety, coping with her Gramps and his mourning, and deciding who she should be to Nash: Kels or Halle?

Characters

• Halle/Kels - Our main character. Halle goes by the name "Kels" online and runs a popular book blog called One True Pastry, where she pairs her love of baking cupcakes with her love of books. She and her brother Ollie move in with their Gramps after their Grams' death, and she runs into her online best friend Nash Kim. Because of her anxiety, Halle doesn't tell Nash that she's really Kels, and that sets off the main plot of the story. Her Grams was a popular YA editor and inspired Halle's love of baking and books, as well as her dreams of being a publicist.
• Nash - Halle's best friend, who only knows her as Kels. He tries to befriend Halle in real life, while also having a crush on Kels. Nash is the artist behind a popular webcomic called REX, about a young dinosaur looking for his brother. He also carries the multiracial rep - being Jewish and a quarter Korean, and having a mixed character who is a quarter mixed, like me, made me so happy. Nash is a sweetheart who tries to make friends with everyone, he's very passionate about books, he has terrible jerks and is just a complete sweet nerd. Ya know, exactly my type.
• Ollie - Halle's younger brother. He's a huge supporter of her and One True Pastry, and the two are extremely close - helping her during panic attacks, and Halle supporting him as he explores his sexuality. Unfortunately, as the story progresses, Halle neglects her brother more and more. Ollie is a great brother and he makes sure that Halle knows that he does not support her keeping Kels a secret from Nash, especially the farther they get into their friendship. Poor Ollie feels like he needs to be strong and have everything together to help his sister and Gramps, and there's a scene where he admits that it's been hard for him too. I love Ollie, he needs to be protected at all costs.
• Gramps - Halle and Ollie's grandfather. Six months after his wife's death, he's still grieving heavily, and at times he handles it by packing away everything she owned, and at others he gets drunk. Eventually, he realizes that the way he's handling this is hurting his grandchildren, so he slowly works through it so he can be there for them the way that they deserve.
• Molly, Autumn, and Sawyer - Halle and Nash's real-life friends! The three welcome Halle to their group with open arms, quickly befriending her. They only know her as Halle, and are aware and supportive of Nash and his blog.
• Amy, Samira, and Elle - Kels and Nash's online friends! All three are also members of the online book community: one is a booktuber, another is a blogger, and one is a writer. Just like Nash, they only know Halle as Kels.
• Grams - Despite the fact that Grams dies before the book begins, she's still an important character throughout the story. Grams is the force behind Kels, her influence carries on through everything Halle does, and it's clear how much she meant to her family. Small things, like how Halle based her online persona off of her Grams (the way that I use Quiroz as my online last name), really show Grams' importance and the strength of their relationship.

What I Loved About This Book

• The anxiety rep! Halle's anxiety feels so similar to my own. As I went through the book, I kept making note of all the times that Halle's anxiety felt like mine, and other than Radio Silence, I don't think I've read a book that's so close. Using an online name (Kels/Nox), no face reveal (I didn't show my face for MONTHS on my blog and socials), and most of all, that fear that online-you is so much cooler than the "real" you. I joke with my friends that at least online I can "edit out the stupidity", but in real life I'm stumbling over my words constantly, never sure of what to say, constantly misreading or completely missing social cues.  So I got why Halle hid Kels, why she was scared to tell Nash, why she got frustrated when Ollie just didn't get it. It's as she said in the book, "When it comes to my anxious brain, it's less about knowing and more about believing."

The whole point of not telling him is to protect our friendship because I won't live up to Kels - and every awkward thing that's happened today just proves me right.

• A look into the life of a book blogger! One True Pastry is such an important part of Halle's life, and she spends hours throughout the book writing up posts, scheduling them, networking with publishers for opportunities, and interacting with fans on Twitter! Halle is my book blogger goals (well... besides CW from The Quiet Pond, Natalia and Astrid from Al Garete, Leelynn from Sometimes Leelynn Reads, Kait from Kaitlyn's Cozy Reading Corner, Krisha from Bookathon, Dani from Metamorphoreader, Fadwa from Word Wonders, Carol from Santana Reads, and Kate from Your Tita Kate... I have a lot of book blogger goals, okay? Sounds like a post for another day...) The point is, Halle as the dedication and the drive needed for book blogging, and I definitely felt inspired to kick it up more with Nox the Reader. Speaking of which...
• Kel's brand with One True Pastry! Halle built up a brand for herself from the age of fourteen! She took what she was passionate about and ran with it, and I loved reading about all of the things she has tied to OTP! And the descriptions of the cupcakes definitely made want to bake (if only it wasn't almost 90 degrees... freaking SoCal weather).

• The depiction of grief and how it affects a family! WARNING: in this part, I talk about the anxiety surrounding having ill, at-risk grandparents. I also talk about the fear of losing said grandparents. Please proceed with caution, or skip this bullet point completely if you must. I'll include a GIF after this point is complete so that you know where it ends. If you've read any of my posts before (like my ramble on Enlightenment) or if you've seen any of the videos on my channel, you probably know that I am really close to my grandparents. I've lived with them all of my life, they've always been here for me. My grandma is my biggest supporter when it comes to all things bookish - she's the one who encouraged me to make my channel. Gramps always has my back, ready to make me fideo when I'm feeling down. The hard thing about having anxiety while also having two grandparents with different illnesses (kidney failure, heart problems, diabetes) is that my mind has gone over practically every heartbreaking scenario imaginable. I've spent too many days visiting them in hospitals, crying as I walk out, worried about whether or not I'll be able to see them again.

Halle's relationship with her grandparents reflects mine in so many ways - our grandmothers being the ones who get us into reading, the ones who get us to put ourselves and our opinions out on the internet. Our grandfathers not quite understanding but still supporting us with their whole hearts. Even small things, like the fact that she calls her grandfather "Gramps" too. And because we're so similar, I had to imagine what it would be like to lose one of my grandparents, and what would happen to the one that's left. And that's the part where I broke down in this book, because this is a fear that I've had for around five years now, since my Gramps' kidneys started failing. I was fine mentally, because I, fortunately, had read a review with the trigger warnings, but this is a recurring discussion in the book. And honestly, I'm glad it's there. I'm glad that I was able to read about this because it felt like someone understood all of the fear and anxiety I have regarding my grandparents' health, and it made me feel less alone about it. So that's why I included it under something I loved about this book, because Kanter didn't shy away from an incredibly real and important discussion with this.

But also I didn't know losing her would mean losing both of them. Missing her is hard enough. I wasn't prepared to miss him, too. That's the worst part. Gramps isn't Gramps anymore.

• The focus on teen influencers and YA! I started my journey in this community as a teen, and even though I'm now "technically" an adult (I sure don't feel like it sometimes), I love reading teen voices on Young Adult literature. While I know that some adults who read this saw this as "adults aren't allowed to read and love YA books" (which I think I've established that I find that pretty stupid - anyone can read anything), I personally read it as a commentary that young adult voices should be uplifted when talking about young adult books, because they're the primary demographic that the books are marketed towards. It doesn't mean that we as adults can't talk about or read YA, but we should also make sure to be including and uplifting the voices of actual young adults within the community (...perhaps another post for another time...), and I'm glad to see that in a book! There's a moment in the book where a popular YA author is insulted that people think her book is marketed only towards teens, as if it needs to be marketed towards adults too in order to be valued, and Halle is put in a tight spot because she disagrees, but her Grams was the editor behind the book. This reminded me of the whole drama related to two YA authors insinuating that there weren't teens in the online book community, despite the fact that they were YA authors! It was a shame because I had initially enjoyed one of their books, but as a (then) teen in the community who was friends with a bunch of teens in the community, it felt hurtful. So I liked that Kanter included it.
• Book Twitter! Kanter really understands Book Twitter at its finest and its lowest. The book drama, the trolls, the fact that people expect influencers to respond to every piece of drama and get upset if they don't take their sides. But at the same time, Kanter showed the support friends have for each other, the idea of seeing an opportunity and immediately tagging the friend that you think it's perfect for!
• Validated online friendships! There isn't any point where Kanter makes it sound like online friendships aren't "real". Kels and Nash are best friends, point blank. Nash even hypes Kels up to Halle at one point, making comments like "aren't I lucky to be friends with someone like her?" There's still discourse out there about whether or not online friendships are "real" (which is ridiculous because at this point HAVEN'T WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED THAT ONLINE FRIENDSHIPS ARE REAL??), and I loved reading a book that focused on the nuances of having online friends, and also a book that showed people cutting out toxic friendships!

A picture of me Skyping with my very real/online best friends

As someone whose friends are mainly ones that I've made online, this book was important to me. My best friends are two that I met online (one thanks to this very blog!) and they mean the world to me. Even then, I have so many other friends that I've made through the online book community that have really been my support during this quarantine. So thank you to my online friends, y'all have no idea how much you mean to me.

What I Disliked About This Book

• How long Halle dragged out the secret! There were several parts when Halle had the perfect chance to tell Nash, or when she really should've told him before they get too close, and of course, she didn't. I understood up to a certain part, but even I was like "THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS, TELL HIM. TELL HIM NOW! NOW - and you're not gonna tell him. -_-" At one point, it felt less like a secret and more like a lie, and Nash really got screwed over.
  

• The audiobook! While I read the majority of the book as an e-book, at one point I went to make dinner and decided to pick up the audiobook so that I could continue with the story. That was a mistake. Unfortunately, the audiobook narrator comes across as a generic text-to-speech robot, and there isn't any of the emotion or... anything, really, behind the voice. I definitely recommend reading it as an e-book (like I said, it's available on Scribd!) or as a physical book. I plan on picking up a physical copy as soon as I can!

Actual footage of me listening to the audiobook

Overall Thoughts

Overall? I seriously love this book! It's not perfect, and the characters sure aren't - it focuses HEAVILY on the miscommunication trope - but I adore it. I connected so much with it and it truly stole my heart. Keeping in mind the triggers, I highly recommend reading it!

Thank you so much for reading this post! I hope you enjoyed it, and let me know down below if you plan on picking up What I Like About You! Have a great day!

~ Nox